Essays

collection one
HONESTY

Store bought cooked chicken

My dad was proud of me. I don’t doubt that even though I question most things I interpret about him. Sometimes I felt he was proud of me to…

Fresh cold house

Sitting in here makes it too real that I’ll never physically hear him speak again. The house triggers all sorts of memories and realizations…

Processing this unconditional curiosity

What was he thinking about as he overlooked the bow of the ship, bracing himself on the mast? I’m glad I saw him do it…

The last first

We put away the Christmas decorations at Mom’s house. The view of a log in the fireplace, the cleared out room, everything back in its…


collection two
STORMY WEATHER

Rain Coat

The same reign coat

I took a walk on a rainy dune trail while camping where my family used to vacation. I wore my dad’s rain coat and thought…

Storm chased

I can feel it brewing but hope I can escape before the storm hits. Before my emotions come crashing down. No time to stop and…

Heat lightning

It’s a reflex. I walk into the house and set my backpack down under the stairs, just like I did when I would stay with…

You’re cold

I often assume that I’m the problem. That I could do more and be better. For you, for us. But the truth shatters a thick layer of denial…


collection three: Motion Sickness

Overcoming motion sickness

I’ve been changing at my own pace, but it’s still on the basis that life will always be there waiting for me. My dreams feel…

Head rush

Sometimes I want to go back and become an accountant like my dad. Politely shout my rationality from the rooftops. Make sure all the…

Beat together

Through it all I’ve been by his side. I’ve felt his heart beat fast, excited, slow, exhausted, ever changing. My ear against his chest. His chin resting…