The ghosts are real. When I look at you I see them.
You reek of them.
Your words.
Your haze.
The veil is between us. Maybe the end is closer than we think. Sometimes just inches from us. Staring us in the eyes.
The ghosts of you and him.
The ghosts of me and you.
I can’t build my life on something that is meant to be lost. The past problems I thought I could solve have all been forgotten. Yet I hold onto them. I project them onto the faces in front of me.
Do I? Or is that where I’ve gone wrong? Am I even in control?
I can’t control others. I never could and never should have tried.
I can’t shake this feeling that something is wrong. Maybe blaming myself wasn’t the answer. Maybe it’s scarier than that – the solution isn’t mine to find and so the problems live on.
Just as I notice the veil and am ready to peak behind it, I see the blurred texture of another. I see all of the new problems for what they are – out of my reach. Beyond the veil.
So can I let this go? Or will I always be haunted? If I shed the ghosts living and dead, can I finally have the clarity to see myself? To care about the only thing I can control.
Am I the one out of reach? Is it what I want? Or can you and I tear through this to connect again and live?