What was he thinking about as he overlooked the bow of the ship, bracing himself? I’m glad I saw him do it and that I took a photograph to wonder over, especially now that he’s gone.
Trying to understand him has always been one of my hobbies. Sitting, wondering and trying to figure him out.
It’s hard not having the answers but it’s not all bad. He was guarded but it piqued my curiosity. He made me want to dig deep into his experiences and feelings, to empathize. He was the foil to my emotional intelligence, helping it grow and develop through adversity.
There were tough conversations where he only used logic and I only used feelings, or I’d be logical and he’d be silent. I would get frustrated with his quiet and calm demeanor as I cried with rage or sadness. It tested my limits and made me fight for what I believed mattered. Although I often disagreed with his approach, his calmness created a challenge that I always accepted, to step back and think through my emotions – how I would adjust my communication method to better reach him the next time.
The lack of answers I got from him encouraged my emotional experimentation. Instead of only fighting for my side of an argument, it led me to fight for our relationship and for both of us to reach a point of understanding. The struggle paid off as we had moments where we were able to connect.
I discovered an unconditional curiosity, which opened me up to his side of the story, to all sides of the story.
You taught me so much about communication through how you described your conversations with him and how you used that in our situations. I’m beginning to realize now as I move forward just how much I’ve learned about communicating with others and what it means to “fight,” for lack of a better word, for those relationships and conversations and understanding when you know it matters most. And definitely about not giving up on people until you’ve given it your best shot with words!
Thanks for always being there to share these lessons with, Marissa! The conversations we’ve had have made me aware of all sorts of lessons that were buried inside. You’ve helped me find the good in my past experiences and struggles. We work together to learn from our pasts to avoid making the same mistakes over and over.
I’m not sure what we’re all meant to do in life, but for me it always seems to come down to love. There are just some people you realize you never want to give up on, and communication has been the best tool to reach understanding. When that doesn’t work, sometimes you’ve got to move on. You know we’ve learned those lessons too!