I’ve desperately searched for meaning and in doing so I searched to end it all. Because if you find the ultimate answer, you pay the ultimate price. But wait. Wouldn’t that thought alone be the one that solved the puzzle? Defining the purpose of it all, leading to the end… Notice, my first dizzying step…
Haunted by the living
The ghosts are real. When I look at you I see them. You reek of them. Your words. Your haze. The veil is between us….
You’re cold
PART 1 I often assume that I’m the problem. That I could do more and be better. For you, for us. But the truth shatters…
Night-time driving music
I used to search for you in my daydreams. I wondered what ride you were on in that moment. If I could catch a glimpse…
Beat together
Through it all I’ve been by his side. I’ve felt his heart beat fast, excited, slow, exhausted, ever changing. My ear against his chest. His…
Head rush
Sometimes I want to go back and become an accountant like my dad. Politely shout my rationality from the rooftops. Make sure all the lines…
Heat lightning
It’s a reflex. I walk into the house and set my backpack down under the stairs, just like I did when I would stay with…
Overcoming motion sickness
I’ve been changing at my own pace, but it’s still on the basis that life will always be there waiting for me. My dreams feel…
The last first
We put away the Christmas decorations at Mom’s house. The view of a log in the fireplace, the cleared out room, everything back in its…
Diner lights
Going to a diner late at night can make you feel like a kid at Christmas or something. You don’t want the magic of the…
Bright deep facets
You and I had the worst night of our lives this winter. Then at the height of summer, you gave me the best night I’ve…
Storm chased
I can feel it brewing but hope I can escape before the storm hits. Before my emotions come crashing down. No time to stop and…
Processing this unconditional curiosity
What was he thinking about as he overlooked the bow of the ship, bracing himself? I’m glad I saw him do it and that I…
Fresh cold house
Sitting in here makes it too real that I’ll never physically hear him speak again. The house triggers all sorts of memories and realizations like…
Warm ghost
I run the cold memory of that night over and over again in my head – how everything changed in an instant. It doesn’t make…
Store bought cooked chicken
My dad was proud of me. I don’t doubt that even though I question most things I interpret about him. Sometimes I felt he was…
The same reign coat
I took a walk on a rainy dune trail while camping where my family used to vacation. I wore my dad’s rain coat and thought…
The fog
Being present is driving through fog. You can’t see what is ahead or behind even if you wanted to. You might feel a little lost…
The Ornament Story
Listen here for a magic holiday tale recorded with family and friends: The Ornament Story (Part 1) The Ornament Story (Part 2) As featured on A…
Living fairytales
Watching so many great stories as a kid, you start to absorb them and somehow begin to live them. The true love, the heart ache,…
Seventeen team
I was 5 years old and I knew exactly what I wanted – a cat. Our family Golden Retriever also wanted a cat but for…
Kid in the mirror
The mirror showed only the bridge of my nose to the top of my head. Maybe it was this cropping of my face that did…